Sumaira McCloud

You know what really grinds my gear? <-- THAT PHRASE lol, just kidding But lately ( by lately I meant May 2018 when I wrote most of this ...) I've been having conversations with reformed-victims. Such as friends, who at one point used to sulk in self pity and have excuses for every "wrong thing" in their life. I was a part of that club too, and sometimes I like to visit here during my period because it's fun for like two mins. But I stopped, and you should, too! Sooooo....Are you a " victim" ? Are you constantly coming up with excuses when things don't go as planned? Are you perhaps failing to see that your decisions are a direct correlation to your "failures?" Please stop. IT'S SO FREAKIN UNATTRACTIVE!!! Once you become self-aware it is REALLY hard to go backwards. You can only see from that point of view, so I recommend it to everyone.  This "awakening" has actually helped me care a lot less for things/people wh

Dear J, 13 years ago tomorrow my entire world changed. Little did I know your life ending actually, somehow, started mine. If I had known the thoughts behind your in-genuine smile, or the plan you were set upon... I would've handled that day differently. I can't go back in time, but I can finally share, publicly, what that day did to me. I remember being restless because it was the Wednesday we were getting interims for school. I couldn't remember if I had done well in science to where I was able to push that D into a C. All day I wondered and hoped I had done well enough. I didn't want a lecture from my parents. Around 2nd period I remember receiving mine and breathing a sigh of relief. I had no D in sight and  I was finally able to go on through the day with no worry. Life was great, I thought. You weren't at school that day. You stayed home. I think you were sick. All week prior we had been arguing, just like 15 year old girls do. We shared a best fri

If you're anything like I was years ago, I heard the word CrossFit and assumed all these terrible things. My two younger sisters had just ventured on their own journey into the CF world and I was enjoying solo time at the gym with free weights and cardio. I would hear the things they did during class but instead of listening my brain would jump to the worst conclusions. Example: CF Sister 1: "AND THEN WE DID LIKE 50 SQUATS WITHIN 2 MINS!! :)" Me (in my head): "wow you're just asking for injury and wrong form and probably going to break your knees and why are you so excited this is unhealthy and crazy. It should be a crime! There's like ten of you in that class... no way someone is coaching and watching all of you. You gonna die, kid. Me (outloud): "oh, that's great!...! " Reality: No one just shows up and starts breaking their knees; it takes time to earn that right (hahaha). The sisters had warmed up, worked out for weeks, condi

Have you ever driven somewhere and as you arrive to your destination you realize you don't quite remember driving? If you have, you're def not alone! I've gone through this and not only is it not cool it's actually not okay! When we just go through the motions, it's kind of easy to forget why we are doing what it is we are doing. A few months ago I decided to start living with intention . All this means is that before I do or think anything I think to myself, 'why' so I can assess my thoughts. If I want a soda, I stop to think, okay. Am I thirsty? Do I want sugar? Do I need caffeine? (most likely NOT) Am I looking for an exciting moment (lol)? What made me want that soda. With intentional thinking I stop and realize okay, so, I don't actually need this for any reason. So, let's just not. If I am feeling on the verge of getting upset by someone; maybe a text message maybe in person... either way, I stop. I think, okay am I mad a