Happiest Depression

The world sees me smiling
Never sad can I be
No one knows the reality
What the truth is for me

Inside it's a battle
Each time with different triggers
First, it starts with anger
then it spins down to sadness, the killer

But she laughs so much and always smiles
how can this be true?
Because when someone asks how you are
you can't exactly say 'fuck you'

Some days are better than others
I surprise myself, too
When the sunshine in the sky
Matches inside my heart and feels really good

Suppress the feelings, don't let them show
that's what I've taught myself
Be what they want to see
although no one gives a shit in the end

Feeling stuck is the worst
Like there's nothing you can do
Hopes of being struck are common
At least then they can't blame you

It can't be healthy thinking these thoughts
but what the fuck do I know?
I have no hope for this selfish, careless world
I just need a place to go

-s

A fictional poem inspired by many lives.