Dear people who are too nice
It is both sad and refreshing to come to the realization that words don't mean shit and actions are everything.
Dear People Who Are Way Too Nice,
You want to believe them. You hear something that confirms what you feel and you instantly jump on the loving train. Open your eyes, please.
You fail to realize that the person who matters most is the one looking back at you in the mirror. You put others ahead of yourself. Stop putting yourself second. Screw the other person's feelings. It's time your feelings matter, too.
If you can stop and question whether a person would reconsider their decision based upon how you felt and the answer is yes, they would change their ways to make me happy, then continue to be the light in this person's life and shine away with all your pouring of love.... but if you answer no, this person never does nor will change any of their shit in order to make me happy then please for the love of love just staaaahp. Stop doing it for them. You matter, too, and it's time these assholes get informed that you finally know your worth.
Whether it's a cousin, boyfriend, friend, sister, parent, brother, co worker, or simply a best friend who you feel in some way obligated to always care for and remain in this obvious one sided relationship-- just quit. Call it quits. Quitty McQuitta. Don't be dramatic and go on a break-up spree- instead just do it without the announcement. Begin to love yourself as much as you normally love to love other people.
Walk into a store and see something cute? Instantly think of asshole #1? Put it down. Go find something you like and buy yourself a gift. Screw whoever you almost wasted your money on. When's the last time you ever were appreciated or thought of? Yeah, exactly.
Going on your weekly texting spree of checking up on assholes #2, #3? Scccccrrrreee back up- delete. Stop. Who cares? They're fine. They were fine before you checked on them and they'll be fine as they don't pick up their phones to check on you. Boom. Worry about those who worry about you.
Having a party and feeling obligated to invite assholes? Ha. Just don't! It's your space, your money, your everything. When's the last time you were extended the offer to join this person's shin-dig? Never? Thought so. Move along. They will live without getting your invite just as you've lived continuously being left out or forgotten to all and any events. Try to extend invites to people who make you smile, show their love, offer to help, and genuinely make you feel good when you're around them. Let's cut that negative energy and leave it in 2015.
I'm talking to you people who don't know how to love yourselves. You're willing to spend money, time, and travel on everyone else in the world because you never gave yourself the chance to learn the value of putting time into your own self. Literally, read a book, join a gym, try a new class, do something do anything for simply your own pleasure. It took me 20+ years to understand this and every day I get better at saying no to someone without feeling the need to explain myself or give a paragraph of excuses. No is sufficient, it's an answer.
No one needs friends, no one needs family. If you need anyone, you need to get your shit together.
People are so caught up in this 'this is how it's supposed to be...' bullshit that we will put ourselves through hell and unhappiness just to appear happy to society and their definitions. Fuck that. Do what you want. Stop begging for the world's approval.
It's amazing having friends when you actually have good ones. I know one blessing of mine is the extremely great people I choose to surround myself with. I refuse to feel obligated to give my free time to people who feel they deserve it just 'because' when in reality these said people are the ones who are constantly picking battles and in some competition with everyone (?) and simply no fun to be around.
If someone brings out the worst in you (and you don't even understand why or how because around the rest of the world you're super awesome and fine) it is perfectly okay to distance yourself and stay the fuck away in order to maintain your own sanity and mental health. You deserve to be at peace and feel good. Any job, person, relative or whatever who makes you feel down and upset is not worth being around. It's that simple.
Stop making yourself feel bad. Your time is spent how you want. You choose where your time goes, you are in charge of your life. If that makes other people uncomfortable, that's their problem. You clearly have a reason if you prefer to be around one set of people over another. Go where you're happy, loved and accepted. Stop making excuses for shitty people with empty promises and fake titles. If no one is going out of their way to ensure you're okay, don't go out of your way to worry either. You should always be unapologetic when it comes to loving yourself and leaving behind assholes and bad company. You owe no explanation.
You're welcome.
-s
