Growing up & Friendships

Relationships of all kind have always been of huge importance to me.

As I get older, I sadly have to accept the reality of change. Change isn't always a bad thing, but it's often difficult to adjust to when you had no choice in the matter.

For example, as I get older, more and more dear friends move away and start their lives in cities hundreds of miles away. I miss them, all of them, but it isn't terrible. I'm learning distance makes the heart grow fonder and the times we spend together (now) are more meaningful, less drama involved (cause, really, who has time for that?) and it's sincerely a new appreciation of the person, the friendship, and the love.

I don't like being hundreds of miles away, but, I have no choice in the decision. So, I have two options. Pout and continue to be upset about it or accept reality and learn the new ways to maintain a friendship.

Here's what I've learned matters when someone you love is no longer down the street.

• Call whenever you can.
  This doesn't have to be a scheduled appointment, but rather, whenever I have time, just give a call. If the friend is one who never took part in calls, text them. Keep in touch and don't just wait for "a reason" to send your love. 
• Go out of your way to remember important things.Don't rely on only the friend who moved to remind you about an event or special time. Keep up with them. It's easy to not think of someone who isn't around the corner and simply wait for only them to inform you of their life events- but that's shitty. Keep up with the relationship as you would if they still lived close.
• Send cards.
  This sounds cheesy, but, no one ever opened a hand written card or letter and got upset about it. EVERYONE loves knowing you're thinking of them. Send random cards. Hallmark has several "Thinking of You" cards as do the Shoebox and other card-makers. Just do it. It'll make you feel good as well as the one receiving. And of course, don't skip out on birthdays and holidays. Send as many as you want. There is no limit. Stamps aren't too bad either. It's do-able, so why not just do it?
• Don't ONLY rely upon social media as a means to "keep in touch"
  Use social media as a friendly reminder of the person and things coming up, but don't assume a "comment" or "like" will weigh greater than a personal text or phone call. Do the things that you would to the friend who lives close to you to the one who moved away.
• Finally, let me just contradict myself for a moment- there is one social media platform that is actually my favorite to use for friends who don't live in my city anymore. That platform is SnapChat. The reason I love this app is because it's easy to use and photo heavy. You can snap a photo of a book that you see or a movie you're watching. Usually it's an inside joke or some kind of obvious intention for sending what you send, (or just ugly faces, those are fun!) but, SnapChat makes it super easy to  have the "I see you daily" feeling without actually seeing them daily in person. It's great and it's fun. 

It's not the amount of time you talk or "keep in touch" it's the moments that you decide to. Don't misunderstand my writing for "keep in touch 24/7" because that is not at all what I'm saying. Just don't justify being lazy in a friendship simply because you know you can't see the person as often. Keep up as you can and do the random calls. They matter. It's the little things that matter most.

I miss my people who left but I am extremely happy for their new lives, new careers, and their new settling into cities they never imagined they would live in! Everyone I am referring to has made a home in a place we never predicted and when I visit them I can see why they love their new homes. 

-s 

I used to sign my blogs as 'ssr' but since I got married and dropped the "R" for an "M" I feel it's best to sign off as "s" lower-case on purpose for all current and future posts. :)

Love.