Jealous friend? Let that bit GO!

Jealousy…let’s define it. According to Dictionary.com:

Jealousy is resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantages etc or against another’s success or advantage itself.

If this is the case, why do we often experience jealousy from a loved one? Weird, right? Well, too bad the reality is that many people do get jealous of their friends and family. It is quite unattractive... but it happens. Few people are obvious about their feelings of jelly while others can keep their jealous feelings a secret…that is of course a secret for a small time, it begins to show soon!

I have been jealous before. Truthfully, most of my adolescent years were wasted being jealous of things or other people. The root of my jealousy, and majority of most people, is insecurity. When a person feels inferior or believes they lack some quality or trait that others have.

I was so incredibly insecure and unsure of myself at all times. I yearned for approval from everyone I would come into contact with. (Thank God that’s changed!) Let me paint a small picture to help understand where my stupid jelly feelings were coming from.

I was surrounded by almost all American people during a time I was trying very hard to be devoted to my Islamic faith and oh my GOD- it was quite a challenge. The only time I felt any relief for five seconds was around Muslim friends at the Mosque. However, even there I learned I didn't quite fit in.

Inside I felt different and less Muslim, less Pakistani, less involved because the people I was around grew up differently than I did. I didn't show that, I figured out at a young age how to blend in. I prayed like the people around me, covered my hair like others, and basically chameleon-ed myself around. Did I actually know anything I was doing? Hellllllll no!

My upbringing made me feel as if I was too culturally different from the Americans I was around- yet not quite as knowledgeable as the Muslims I would be around. So in reality, either party I fell into I was still inside very insecure and unsure of what was going on. I faked it to make it, literally. 

Well, those friends I mentioned I was very, very possessive over. If another person was claiming my friend as their best friend I lost my fucking mind! I would get so incredibly jealous and upset. Because I didn't want to lose MY friend to another person (That's fear bringing on these feelings!) 

My past makes me who I am today which is a huge reason that I am not a jealous or insecure person any longer (yay). I truly accept myself and love who I am unlike before where I constantly tried just blending in to what I thought I should be. The friends I have now I happily share with other groups of friends, no fear or insecurity lingering causing me to be a crazy beeyotch.

It also helps doing what makes you happy; the more you love your own decisions, the less you care if others do. 

If you're past the age of 22-23 years, I would advise you to part ways with insecure/jealous women around your age group. Usually by this age if the person has not corrected this insecurity-it is possible it might not be going away any time soon. Women experience having friendships and knowing this person is never genuinely supportive, happy, or on board with them, but for some reason we keep them around. It's time to let people go. I did it last year and I feel great! 

Cut the cords with those "friends" who you KNOW are waiting for you to fail. The ones that even openly say sometimes things that allow you to know they aren't wanting what's best for you. You know who those people are; your insides get a gut feeling that tells you they're untrustworthy. Just wake up one day and say bye, Felicia! 

Stay happy, it’s attractive!

-ssr