Tips for Brides :)

If you’re reading this, more than likely you are a bride, know a bride, or just a female. I’ve recently gotten engaged for a whopping two months, so I’m clearly an expert at giving out tips to others (haha). I intend to write this post for mostly brides who either have not chosen their bridesmaids yet, have chosen them and are having second thoughts, or just brides who want to read and share their tips also.

 Brides who have not chosen their girls.

When it came to my planning, originally I did not want to have “a large number of bridesmaids.” But this is actually a really unrealistic way to think, especially when you realize you have a large family of females, and lifelong friends who are just as close as sisters that you want in your wedding.

DON’T worry about the number. Focus more on who you want and why. Do not forget you are not selecting just who you have known longer. You want to consider their lifestyle (are they a mom? are they busy 24/7?) and financial stability because they'll be responsible for costs, and dependability. Think of all these factors.

Are you obligated to including family?

This is tricky, because everyone’s family situations are different. I know sisters who have not spoken in five years and are not close at all. For those females, including their sister is almost more uncomfortable for both parties instead of just being honest to themselves and not including them. My opinion- you don’t have to include anyone you don’t want to. Your wedding is the one day you are ALLOWED to be selfish and not be judged (lol).

Invited your bridesmaids and already having second thoughts?

So, you have already sent out pretty invites and all the girls have accepted! Suddenly, you are regretting certain people you invited, because maybe your reasons for inviting the girl were wrong to begin with. Guess what? It’s too late. Asking a friend to no longer be a bridesmaid after already asking is pretty much a friendship breaker. It may not happen right away- but that friend will suddenly feel demoted/rejected/hurt and may not even forgive you. After all, imagine the embarrassment she would have to endure. You invited her, she bragged about it happily, and now she’s …. Not one? That’s cruel.

Unless of course it is due to budget problems and you are cutting more than one; that is a BIT more acceptable…but still kind of sucky. Try to remember the reason why you originally even considered the friend and leave it alone. If you have more than 5 total girls, its likely you won’t even need the regretted friend as much as you think. 

The only time I would break this rule and find it okay is if a friend were obviously to betray you or harm you before the wedding and you felt it was such a large ‘fail’ that you have grounds to remove them from your huge day. Don’t look for reasons to do this, but if it happens on its own then there’s your out.

...Basically, if you have bridesmaids you are reconsidering, you’re shit of luck. Unless of course you practice the selfish rule...in that case if you don’t care that it may possibly ruin a friendship, then by all means kick out the girl(s)! Just don't rush when selecting, give yourself time.

Random tips to share.

The big day is a big stress in all realities. The cost, the inviting, the choosing of guests, the vendors, it can all become too much too soon. The best way to tackle these things are by focusing on one thing at a time.

Maybe first find your venue, spend your time focusing on where you want this day. Is it going to be indoor, outdoor, both? Narrow down exactly what you (and the groom) want. Now, start choosing venues to make appointments. Speaking of…

Make sure when you find a venue, you DO book an appointment. Many places are already wedding-busy and have tonssss of people coming to look at their site. Your time will be best spent when you are penciled in. All it takes is a phone call! The more you know about what you want, the better the venue host can show you what they have to offer that will match your interests.

Once you find the venue, maybe now figure out the next large part and take it one at a time. Oh and I can’t believe I didn’t mention…. Know your budget before all else! If you don’t know what you’re willing to spend/able to spend nothing else will go accordingly. You must know your money.

Remember it is okay to say no. Places are going to want to sell you their best deals and best whatevers, but that’s because they want YOU to be with THEM. Remember, you do need them, but they also need you. Do not feel obligated to say yes to anyone unless YOU are 100% sure that this is what you really want. Be clear, be upfront, and don’t be afraid of admitting you have other venues/vendors to see.

That’s all I’ve got for now, if you have any tips or ideas (especially
if you’re already married) please feel free to share by leaving a comment! I know it is ‘wedding season’ and also ‘engagement season’ (haha) so hopefully this comes in handy to you brides.

Lots of love,

ssr