Dear Great Friend

Being a great friend is a burden.

You enjoy giving your time to loved ones only to receive less than half of the effort or love back (as you interpret love). You take the time to understand how each individual operates, because you, great friend, realize that each individual is unique. You do small gestures out of the kindness of your heart because if you pass by that hello kitty bag and don’t get it for that one person (you love) who is obsessed with hello kitty, part of you actually feels guilty and silly knowing you could have instead put a smile on that loved ones’ face. Nothing feels better than putting a smile on another’s face. You don’t even stop to think would this person do this for me? Because that isn't what matters to you, it never was.

You look forward to lunches and brunches and actually ask ‘how are you!’ because you want to hear the answer. Whether it is a good or bad answer, you actually for some reason give a shit. Nothing about this loved one benefits your life in a way of you gaining material or valuable things from this person. You actually probably lose sleep, money, and time over these people but it doesn't matter because it’s all worth it to you. Having these loved ones in your life brings you joy. So why would you simply remove them if they weren't benefiting you in a way that’s tangible? You wouldn't of course!

You hear good news from these people and you are just as happy if not happier for them. You aren't competing or secretly wishing them bad or hoping you could have came out first. You want their success to shine because you already understand that your time will come when its right. You smile for your friend, great friend, because you mean it.

You plan get-togethers and your little joyous self is thoughtful enough to include all walks of friends. People from A B and C are often brought together in your home or your agenda, because for you, great friend, you just love having all your loved ones around you at the same time and actually enjoy when two of your loved ones start loving the others. Togetherness is fun.

You love surprising your loves with little things that say a lot. Whether it’s a tiny wine glass for 50 cents that you saw and had to get for the one who loves collecting wine glasses or just simply make a card for a birthday year after year ‘just because’ its tradition. You get so much pleasure out of being a great friend to those you love because by nature, great friend, you can’t help it; you are caring, loyal, loving, thoughtful, and kind. You love to love. It makes you happy. You don’t understand when others are so comfortable being selfish and distant and trying to make it to the ‘top’ of whatever. For you, great friend, you've always envisioned success with your loved ones there to share it with.

You attend gatherings when invited, you don’t ditch or make lame excuses. You’re truthful about places you hate and games you won’t ever play but almost always you are there, dependable if needed and available if asked. You get joy by being around others so its rare to see you alone, great friend.  You go out of your way and often wish you could say no without feeling guilt. You don’t even realize when you put others before you, time after time. You literally have to ask yourself often questions in your head before doing things that others would never even consider asking. For others a simple no suffices almost always.

Your heart is enormous and your feelings are felt too deeply. You, great friend, have a burden.

As you know great friend, you are the one often let down, hurt, disappointed, holding false expectations and feeling simply down too often. You have too much time on your hands and you think too deep. Your caring heart needs to breathe. You must force yourself to say no to others when your heart actually wants to be there. Why? Because great friend, you must learn to protect yourself.

You have to put yourself first and be an asshole from time to time. In the end, you’ll see, the ones who want to be there regardless if you’re great or not, will be there. You cannot be the best friend for every friend. You have your own agenda, too. So... you realize you have (close) friends who do not include you in their other circles? Oh well, they have no obligation to because you simply had no obligation to include them. You feel left out and hurt because you CHOOSE to include everyone whereas others just don’t care to for whatever reason you’ll never understand, great friend, because you are wired differently. To you, it’s the more the merrier and your friends all meeting is fun. For others, they enjoy keeping their circles apart.

You’re gonna wish from time to time you were wired opposite and could go on about life not giving a damn, but there is a reason that you don’t know yet as to why you are this way and care so deeply. Not everyone deserves your love and you must learn to choose who is worth giving your love to.

A ‘friend’ who consistently is there for you only when it is convenient for them is not a great friend like you, it is simply a friend nothing more nothing less. A friend who comes around only when it benefits them in some way is just annoying. Why even bother? It is on their time, their location, their everything, what about…. you? Suddenly, You remind yourself all the good times with this person in order to forget about the bad, but this is unfair to you, great friend. You must learn to confront people when they intentionally or unintentionally hurt you or else they will go on about their merry lives and not even think twice of your feelings. After all, you are the one who took the time to understand individuals but remember, great friend; almost no one will ever do that for you. You are entitled to your feelings. Just be careful what you do with those feelings. Don’t say things when you’re angry that you may regret.

Only be this great friend, great friend, to those who are equally great back. It doesn't have to mirror exactly who you are, but you know which people have never made you feel any bad feelings. Keep those close to you. They are the ones who cared enough to know how to have a relationship with you- a relationship that fulfills you as well as them. We all have our needs and you have every right to want things in a friendship. Also, when you stop doing so much for others you won’t have any kind of expectation or let down. You cannot expect back what hasn't even been given. So just stop. Literally, stop.

“The road to a friend is never long distance”

Sincerely,

A Great Friend

-ssr