Unsupporitive Parent(s)
If you are from a family who is not first generation American, you can maybe recall a time where you or someone you know had to go through witnessing a parent not support their child's decision(s).
Whether it was school, spouse, job, or sexual orientation, it's a common problem that many young Americans go through.
I consider this situation a problem, because I personally believe all problems have solutions. Is there a solution to this heartbreaking reality? In my opinion, Yes.
Although everyone does desire the approval of someone they respect and love (parent, role model, guardian), sometimes we must take a step back and question a few things first.
1) Is the reason for this unsupportive person a legit/sense-able reason?
2) Is there something that can be changed on my part to solve the issue?
3) Am I hurting anyone?
4) If I consider changing my behavior or attitude, will this benefit me, or will this benefit someone else?
5) What really matters in the end? My happiness or someone else's?
These are just a few questions I can come up with off the top of my head.
Let me rewind for a second, and remind everyone reading....my number one objective on many videos and blogs is to always love yourself and take care of yourself FIRST.
If you do not, you will never truly be happy, because you will realize you continued to strive for a life you never wanted, only to please someone else--regardless of who that person may be.
With that said, be selfish.
If you are lesbian or gay and you honestly in your heart believe that you are not able to live a life fakely as a straight person to "fit in" or "please the crowd" then DON'T. Many people succumb to doing so, simply because it is too difficult to be themselves and stand out. Not everyone can handle the stress of rejection. You? You can do it.
Be happy. Be yourself. If your parents or loved ones cannot agree or support or find it in their heart to live with your lifestyle, then it is their loss. Not yours.
You are not a bad person because you are living life how you feel is right. How can someone else tell you what's right? Only you know what feels right to you, and often we do know the answer and hide it, just to make someone else happy. You can only be selfless for so long. Until you explode.
Are you dating someone that your parents refuse to accept? If so, what's the reason? Is it race? Religion? Income? Lack of income? What is the reason?
If any of these reasons are the main concern from your parent or whoever, do not even consider leaving your relationship. Only you know how compatible someone is with you. YOU spend time with them. YOU know them inside and out. YOU know whether this person will fit in your future.
If you cherish family and truly want your parents or whoever to be a part of your family--understand that what you are about to give up is something that they would not give up for you. Yes, you read that correct.
If your parents are not even willing to meet someone that you are serious with, how dare you consider breaking your own heart (and your lover's) for two/one person(s) that never even considered getting to know someone you are committed to? If they refuse to give it a chance, you can just so easily refuse to live by their rules. Now hopefully the people reading this already understand that I am only talking to adults--in my opinion 21 and over. If you are a teenager, this does not apply to you.
Parents majority of the time DO want what's best for you. But you grew up in a country that they were not raised in. It is honestly not their fault that they do not understand, but it is also not YOUR fault that you have a different choice of lifestyle than what they maybe prefer for you. If you marry someone to make your mother or father happy-you will never be happy. It isn't genuine. And later, you may even lash out or hate this person, simply because you felt forced in a way. YOU know what's best for you.
Does someone want you to be a doctor or lawyer or nurse or ect ect ect? What do you want? What makes you happy? Is it art? Singing? Dancing? Writing? What is it that you have a passion for?
Someone famous once said, "If you do what you love everyday, you're not really working" and I will live by this. I refuse to jump into a 'career' for a steady income that I will not enjoy daily. Money can never make you happy, it can only help your lifestyle. Do what you love, just be realistic at the same time. If you have to work somewhere to make it somewhere bigger, go through the bullshit, because in the end it was worth it.
If you're 30 years old and you decide you want to open your own bakery, don't let anyone stop you. Never listen to someone who is not supporting you. People can seem to care about you, but most people are hoping for the odds against you. Jealousy is an ugly thing, and it exists in more places than you would want to believe. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Are you pressured to apply to colleges because everyone around you is doing so? YOU DON'T HAVE TO. College is NOT for everyone. There are other jobs and careers and lifestyles out there. DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Back to those questions from earlier, I know I jump around a lot, but I talk like this in life, too. :)
Answer the questions. Are you putting yourself in harm? Are you with someone who brings you down and the people you love are unsupportive because they want what's best for you? If so, that is a time where you should consider pausing and reflecting on your decision.
Are you not going to college because you are lazy? Do you just not care? If someone is forcing or pushing you in the direction because they believe (genuinely) that after a number of courses you perhaps will find something you love. Is this the case? Or do you have a natural talent for something and want to pursue it? Think of these things.
Are you angry about something from your past and you are CHOOSING to be with the same sex partner simply to get back at your parents? (This DOES happen). Reflect. If this is something you are doing out of spite and being bitter, you are not only hurting yourself emotionally, but you are also potentially hurting an innocent person's heart. Think of these things.
In the end no matter who your parents are and whatnot, you do have to sometimes go against people and do what makes you happy. As long as you know you are not intentionally harming anyone or putting your life at risk, you have to live your life. You only get one, so make it how you please.
If there is a chance that you can have an adult conversation with the parent(s) or whoever and come to some kind of understanding or agreement, then do so. Being civil won't kill you. Perhaps it is not what you wanted, you want things to be the same and happy pappy and all that, but it doesn't always work that way, and in the end you can have at least a part of a relationship with people you love instead of just cutting them out.
I will never cut out or cut off my family, personally, unless they truly do something horrendous and unforgiving. (Murder/Rape) I've gotten mad and emotional over many different things in my life, but I've never cut anyone out. Not permanently, anyway.
Sometimes you do need space and time, but always keep that invitation and door open, because you do not want any regrets of time lost when someone passes away. We never know when that day is going to come and you wouldn't want to wish later that you had chosen your words or actions differently.
After reading that last paragraph, you may think, well what if I just do what they want so that every one's happy and I have no regrets? No.
The "Solution" -- The point is that YOU yourself left an invitation open. It is up to the other people(s) if they want to take that invite or reject it. You are never in control of someone else's decision. All you can do is give and leave that welcome mat. Whether they choose to come or not, is not your fault by any means.
I hope anyone reading this is not going through any of the above or more, but if you are, you are not alone. There are so many people that go through what you are going through. It does help to talk about it, but be wise who you open up to. Not everyone cares, some are just nosy. Best wishes to all, and please please please, do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be miserable and sad and confused all the time.
<3
-ssr
Leave a comment with your thoughts, if anyone has any other personal questions or anything to talk about you can feel free to email me at baybeebunny1@gmail.com I will reply as soon as I get a moment. <3
For YouTube videos go to Youtube.com/baybeebunny1
Whether it was school, spouse, job, or sexual orientation, it's a common problem that many young Americans go through.
I consider this situation a problem, because I personally believe all problems have solutions. Is there a solution to this heartbreaking reality? In my opinion, Yes.
Although everyone does desire the approval of someone they respect and love (parent, role model, guardian), sometimes we must take a step back and question a few things first.
1) Is the reason for this unsupportive person a legit/sense-able reason?
2) Is there something that can be changed on my part to solve the issue?
3) Am I hurting anyone?
4) If I consider changing my behavior or attitude, will this benefit me, or will this benefit someone else?
5) What really matters in the end? My happiness or someone else's?
These are just a few questions I can come up with off the top of my head.
Let me rewind for a second, and remind everyone reading....my number one objective on many videos and blogs is to always love yourself and take care of yourself FIRST.
If you do not, you will never truly be happy, because you will realize you continued to strive for a life you never wanted, only to please someone else--regardless of who that person may be.
With that said, be selfish.
If you are lesbian or gay and you honestly in your heart believe that you are not able to live a life fakely as a straight person to "fit in" or "please the crowd" then DON'T. Many people succumb to doing so, simply because it is too difficult to be themselves and stand out. Not everyone can handle the stress of rejection. You? You can do it.
Be happy. Be yourself. If your parents or loved ones cannot agree or support or find it in their heart to live with your lifestyle, then it is their loss. Not yours.
You are not a bad person because you are living life how you feel is right. How can someone else tell you what's right? Only you know what feels right to you, and often we do know the answer and hide it, just to make someone else happy. You can only be selfless for so long. Until you explode.
Are you dating someone that your parents refuse to accept? If so, what's the reason? Is it race? Religion? Income? Lack of income? What is the reason?
If any of these reasons are the main concern from your parent or whoever, do not even consider leaving your relationship. Only you know how compatible someone is with you. YOU spend time with them. YOU know them inside and out. YOU know whether this person will fit in your future.
If you cherish family and truly want your parents or whoever to be a part of your family--understand that what you are about to give up is something that they would not give up for you. Yes, you read that correct.
If your parents are not even willing to meet someone that you are serious with, how dare you consider breaking your own heart (and your lover's) for two/one person(s) that never even considered getting to know someone you are committed to? If they refuse to give it a chance, you can just so easily refuse to live by their rules. Now hopefully the people reading this already understand that I am only talking to adults--in my opinion 21 and over. If you are a teenager, this does not apply to you.
Parents majority of the time DO want what's best for you. But you grew up in a country that they were not raised in. It is honestly not their fault that they do not understand, but it is also not YOUR fault that you have a different choice of lifestyle than what they maybe prefer for you. If you marry someone to make your mother or father happy-you will never be happy. It isn't genuine. And later, you may even lash out or hate this person, simply because you felt forced in a way. YOU know what's best for you.
Does someone want you to be a doctor or lawyer or nurse or ect ect ect? What do you want? What makes you happy? Is it art? Singing? Dancing? Writing? What is it that you have a passion for?
Someone famous once said, "If you do what you love everyday, you're not really working" and I will live by this. I refuse to jump into a 'career' for a steady income that I will not enjoy daily. Money can never make you happy, it can only help your lifestyle. Do what you love, just be realistic at the same time. If you have to work somewhere to make it somewhere bigger, go through the bullshit, because in the end it was worth it.
If you're 30 years old and you decide you want to open your own bakery, don't let anyone stop you. Never listen to someone who is not supporting you. People can seem to care about you, but most people are hoping for the odds against you. Jealousy is an ugly thing, and it exists in more places than you would want to believe. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Are you pressured to apply to colleges because everyone around you is doing so? YOU DON'T HAVE TO. College is NOT for everyone. There are other jobs and careers and lifestyles out there. DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Back to those questions from earlier, I know I jump around a lot, but I talk like this in life, too. :)
Answer the questions. Are you putting yourself in harm? Are you with someone who brings you down and the people you love are unsupportive because they want what's best for you? If so, that is a time where you should consider pausing and reflecting on your decision.
Are you not going to college because you are lazy? Do you just not care? If someone is forcing or pushing you in the direction because they believe (genuinely) that after a number of courses you perhaps will find something you love. Is this the case? Or do you have a natural talent for something and want to pursue it? Think of these things.
Are you angry about something from your past and you are CHOOSING to be with the same sex partner simply to get back at your parents? (This DOES happen). Reflect. If this is something you are doing out of spite and being bitter, you are not only hurting yourself emotionally, but you are also potentially hurting an innocent person's heart. Think of these things.
In the end no matter who your parents are and whatnot, you do have to sometimes go against people and do what makes you happy. As long as you know you are not intentionally harming anyone or putting your life at risk, you have to live your life. You only get one, so make it how you please.
If there is a chance that you can have an adult conversation with the parent(s) or whoever and come to some kind of understanding or agreement, then do so. Being civil won't kill you. Perhaps it is not what you wanted, you want things to be the same and happy pappy and all that, but it doesn't always work that way, and in the end you can have at least a part of a relationship with people you love instead of just cutting them out.
I will never cut out or cut off my family, personally, unless they truly do something horrendous and unforgiving. (Murder/Rape) I've gotten mad and emotional over many different things in my life, but I've never cut anyone out. Not permanently, anyway.
Sometimes you do need space and time, but always keep that invitation and door open, because you do not want any regrets of time lost when someone passes away. We never know when that day is going to come and you wouldn't want to wish later that you had chosen your words or actions differently.
After reading that last paragraph, you may think, well what if I just do what they want so that every one's happy and I have no regrets? No.
The "Solution" -- The point is that YOU yourself left an invitation open. It is up to the other people(s) if they want to take that invite or reject it. You are never in control of someone else's decision. All you can do is give and leave that welcome mat. Whether they choose to come or not, is not your fault by any means.
I hope anyone reading this is not going through any of the above or more, but if you are, you are not alone. There are so many people that go through what you are going through. It does help to talk about it, but be wise who you open up to. Not everyone cares, some are just nosy. Best wishes to all, and please please please, do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be miserable and sad and confused all the time.
<3
-ssr
Leave a comment with your thoughts, if anyone has any other personal questions or anything to talk about you can feel free to email me at baybeebunny1@gmail.com I will reply as soon as I get a moment. <3
For YouTube videos go to Youtube.com/baybeebunny1
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