Lying, when do you consider it okay?

I was watching one of my favorite shows last night, Tough Love Miami, hosted by Steve Ward, and the it was the eighth episode.

Each week there is a theme or topic covered, and this week it was Lying. I was really inspired to write/blog/make a video on this topic, because I think it's one topic everyone will be interested in, both men and women.

So, we know everyone lies. What do you personally consider appropriate? When is lying okay? Is lying okay? Is the truth always better?

Something to consider: Many people tell white lies to avoid hurting someone's feelings, especially someone the person cares for.

So are white lies okay? Are they better than the harsh truth? Here are some examples.

Someone takes hours to cook a meal for you and they are very excited to finally have you sit and eat.

You take one bite and realize it lacks flavor, taste and all the things you need in order to enjoy a meal.

 Do you sit there and make a face and tell the truth, "I appreciate you going through all that trouble... but this is really nasty and I cannot eat this."

Or do you tell a white lie and save the person's feelings? "Hey, thanks, it's really good!"

Some would say tell the lie, eat the food, and next time just cook yourself or avoid this person cooking. Others would say why eat a meal you really cannot enjoy, and find a nice way to let the person down.

 I believe it all depends on who this person is, what your relationship is like, and what you feel is the right thing to do.

For example, if the person who took the time to cook this meal is someone more sensitive than others when it comes to criticising, you may take the road to just eat and act as if it's a great meal.

However, if this person is insisting you tell the truth and they are someone who may have a tough shell, you may be more willing to say what you really feel, in a nice way. It all depends.

That's just food, what about sex, money, relationships? All the good stuff?

So you're with someone for the first time sexually, and you really really disliked the experience. The person on the other end is asking and asking and looking for some sort of compliment.

Do you lie and let their ego grow, or do you find a nice way to say this was the worst time of your life? Think about it, what would you honestly do? A lot of people would just avoid the question, if the question arised.

How about money? Do you lie on job interviews? Do you lie to your managers to make yourself seem more fitting?

There's an actual term in Social Psychology called self-promoting and it's very self explanatory.

EVERYONE DOES IT! Whether you realize it or not.

Everyone lies. The difference is who we lie to and how much someone means to us.

There are some really tough situations.

Let's say you find out that your best friend is cheating on her boyfriend. You are friends with her of course, but through their two year relationship you have formed your own relationship with the boyfriend. He's nice and funny and you two get along.

He starts to suspect his girlfriend is cheating. He doesn't want to accuse her, because he isn't positive whether she is or not. He approaches you out of no where. Asks you if you are aware of anything going on. What do you do?

Do you lie for your girlfriend and say you aren't sure what he's talking about? Or do you tell the truth and admit there is something going on? Or the best option, I believe, is to just answer, "you should talk to her yourself" which sort of says there is something to be discussed, but doesn't exactly make you a part of any problem.

Ask yourself, how often do you lie? Why do you lie? Do you lie?

If there's a way to not lie, then don't. But if you feel white lies save face and make life easier, than continue to. Just don't get sucked into white lies and gradually become a liar.

Friends text you to hang out and you have no money. Do you reply saying you're tired and have work the next day? Or do you reply honestly and just tell them you're broke? If they are your real friends who shouldn't judge you, you should be able to tell the truth.

But I know so many people who will tell white lies when it comes to these simple situations because 1)the friends are judgemental annoying assholes who will use some form of defense "Well you had money last nigh didn't you! I bet if you were asked to blah blah blah you'd find money!" .. ect... or 2)they feel they cannot be honest because it shows weakness and everyone may pity them for not having money ect

Both are dumb, get new friends. You shouldn't feel embarrassed.

Everyone lies. It's almost avoidable. If everyone walked around telling the truth 24/7 we may have a lot more upset, depressed, suicidal, sad people.

Just be careful who you are lying to, when you are lying, and whether or not its becoming a habit. White lies, I believe, are okay and sometimes nessecary, but when it's avoidable, find a nice way to tell the truth to the person. Truth is appreciated when told in the right manner.

And never lie to your mama, that's just a bad idea. She already knows the truth, anyway.

-ssr