Relationships
Friends, siblings, co-workers, romantic partners, parents, neighbors, in-laws there's just so many relationships.
I wanted to write about relationships, because it's not so much the actual friendship that may give someone trouble. It's the after effect of when two people split ways, and you met someone through someone else's relationship. I'll give many examples. And yes this blog does pertain to romantic relationships. hehehe.
So, the most common. Romantical. Is that even a word? I'm going to make it one. When you meet someone through a person you already know, it's great. You bond, you form your own friendship in a way. Sometimes you even start to the love person genuinely for who they are, after all that time you spend together, and you see why your original friend loves this person, too.
But then the awful break-up comes....
What do you do from here?
You're now stuck in this awkward situation. Do you remain in touch? Do you still say happy birthday? Do you delete the person from facebook? What's your stand/right on this friendship you formed through your buddy? Well, I personally feel that it all depends on a few things.
A few questions to consider. What was this break up over? Did someone cheat on another? Did someone abuse the trust in any way/shape/form? How did the two end, on good terms, on bad terms, or wishing death upon one another?
If the break-up is mutual, you think suddenly it is okay to remain friends.
But don't jump to conclusions!
Is your original friend really okay with the departure or are they hurting inside? I think if your actual friend is still hurting, you shouldn't flaunt that you and the ex are remaining friends/keeping in touch. I think to be polite you should be allowed to keep a facebook friendship, but nothing more. And with facebook I would even avoid writing on the wall. Do messages. Hopefully your friend doesn't have your password and go through your messages. In this case, I'd probably ditch the nosy bastard.
(Of course there are times you cannot avoid running into the ex such as if you happened to be working with them, living close to someone and running into them at Wal-Mart, or the gym ect).
Let's say the person cheated. Not your friend, but the other. This one is a no brainer.
If you have any loyalty to your friend, you do NOT keep in touch with this asshole/bitch. You cut off ties because if you do not-- you're basically silently saying you see nothing wrong with the mistake.
Sure you can say you're staying out of it, but showing loyalty to your friend might be more needed than trying to save face. Why even save face for an asshole anyway? CUT THEM OFF! No need for those people in your life.
But HEY what if YOUR friend is the cheater? Okay, now things get a little funny.
The person you are friends with is the actual asshole. In this case I wouldn't say cut off your friend for their mistake, obviously you have some relationship that was great whether this person abused someone else or not, but in this scenario, you're allowed to remain in touch with the ex. Why? Uh, why not? They did nothing wrong, in fact they are hurt/pissed. You cutting them off would only add frustration to the fact you're siding with an asshole. You may even look like one.(Remember, you're often judged by who you hang around.) But you're not an asshole, so don't be mistaken as such. Just maintain your friendship with the ex. It might even bug your friend, which is should, because after all, your friend is an asshole.
Sometimes the ex will get desperate. No matter who's fault the break up was, this ex will purposely find ways to talk to all of the friends (you) and write public notes on things to make it seem as if you are extremely close. Again, if you feel your loyalty is to your own friend, just ignore these desperate attempts. You can maintain that civil-I'm-cool-with-you bond, but don't go out of your way to remain friends. Unless you know for a fact your original friend doesn't give a rat's ass, then cool, maybe you and this ex can have sleepovers.
But if it in any way does bother your friend, just don't react to these attempts. Play it cool.
Well, that's what I planned on covering. I've been wanting to blog for awhile, just been very busy. But now that I have an extra nine free hours in the day, I may be blogging more.
Next, I plan to cover in-laws and other relationships. These could get long.
-ssr
I wanted to write about relationships, because it's not so much the actual friendship that may give someone trouble. It's the after effect of when two people split ways, and you met someone through someone else's relationship. I'll give many examples. And yes this blog does pertain to romantic relationships. hehehe.
So, the most common. Romantical. Is that even a word? I'm going to make it one. When you meet someone through a person you already know, it's great. You bond, you form your own friendship in a way. Sometimes you even start to the love person genuinely for who they are, after all that time you spend together, and you see why your original friend loves this person, too.
But then the awful break-up comes....
What do you do from here?
You're now stuck in this awkward situation. Do you remain in touch? Do you still say happy birthday? Do you delete the person from facebook? What's your stand/right on this friendship you formed through your buddy? Well, I personally feel that it all depends on a few things.
A few questions to consider. What was this break up over? Did someone cheat on another? Did someone abuse the trust in any way/shape/form? How did the two end, on good terms, on bad terms, or wishing death upon one another?
If the break-up is mutual, you think suddenly it is okay to remain friends.
But don't jump to conclusions!
Is your original friend really okay with the departure or are they hurting inside? I think if your actual friend is still hurting, you shouldn't flaunt that you and the ex are remaining friends/keeping in touch. I think to be polite you should be allowed to keep a facebook friendship, but nothing more. And with facebook I would even avoid writing on the wall. Do messages. Hopefully your friend doesn't have your password and go through your messages. In this case, I'd probably ditch the nosy bastard.
(Of course there are times you cannot avoid running into the ex such as if you happened to be working with them, living close to someone and running into them at Wal-Mart, or the gym ect).
Let's say the person cheated. Not your friend, but the other. This one is a no brainer.
If you have any loyalty to your friend, you do NOT keep in touch with this asshole/bitch. You cut off ties because if you do not-- you're basically silently saying you see nothing wrong with the mistake.
Sure you can say you're staying out of it, but showing loyalty to your friend might be more needed than trying to save face. Why even save face for an asshole anyway? CUT THEM OFF! No need for those people in your life.
But HEY what if YOUR friend is the cheater? Okay, now things get a little funny.
The person you are friends with is the actual asshole. In this case I wouldn't say cut off your friend for their mistake, obviously you have some relationship that was great whether this person abused someone else or not, but in this scenario, you're allowed to remain in touch with the ex. Why? Uh, why not? They did nothing wrong, in fact they are hurt/pissed. You cutting them off would only add frustration to the fact you're siding with an asshole. You may even look like one.(Remember, you're often judged by who you hang around.) But you're not an asshole, so don't be mistaken as such. Just maintain your friendship with the ex. It might even bug your friend, which is should, because after all, your friend is an asshole.
Sometimes the ex will get desperate. No matter who's fault the break up was, this ex will purposely find ways to talk to all of the friends (you) and write public notes on things to make it seem as if you are extremely close. Again, if you feel your loyalty is to your own friend, just ignore these desperate attempts. You can maintain that civil-I'm-cool-with-you bond, but don't go out of your way to remain friends. Unless you know for a fact your original friend doesn't give a rat's ass, then cool, maybe you and this ex can have sleepovers.
But if it in any way does bother your friend, just don't react to these attempts. Play it cool.
Well, that's what I planned on covering. I've been wanting to blog for awhile, just been very busy. But now that I have an extra nine free hours in the day, I may be blogging more.
Next, I plan to cover in-laws and other relationships. These could get long.
-ssr
He is a married man but he trapped a divorced lady that had undergone much trauma from her past marriage.
ReplyDeleteHe proposed her for marriage,(without informing her he is a married man)she felt he was to good for her and told him how much pain and trauma she has gone trough,she requested him to only pursue her for marriage if he was genuienly intrested in her and was able to understand and respect and accept her with her past.He still aggressively pursued her for marriage.He made her believe he is genuine guy who himself is divorced and wants her best interest and build a beautiful family with her,and they would live happily ever afther.
They used to chat late nights and then he started convincing her or rather emotionally force her to strip infront of the webcam she felt obligated and did it out of love.
As he keeps calling her his wife. Afther she did what he wished for he then starts calling her a slu.t.t.y who.re. and a loser he says that she is not even worth beaing a mistress and he never intended to marry her. He then tells her that she is a sl.u.t.t.y.w.h.o.re. and that she will always remain that and that he enjoyed having fun with her and that she was only there to satisfy his needs and she will always remain a s.l.u.t.t.and then starts blackmailing her... He starts tarnishing her reputation and name and also puts her nude images and videos on net from public ip address... My question is how can a person first of all lie he is married, then trap a divorced woman make her believe he loves her and would marry her,then tarnish her.She is even a mother of two children they are twin girls and her husband left her for an other women before the children were even born.That lady has never ever had any boyfriend she only went for an arrange marriage as this is a common phenomena in indian culture.. She actually loved and trusted this man and believed he would keep his word.
Her only fault is to truest him and believe him. It turns out he is married his wife is pregnant he has a 10 year old son and a physically and mentally challenged daughter she is 14. What good did he get by hurting a already hurt human?
His wife supports him as she has seen that single mothers nude images and he has managed to convince his wife that,the women he himself trapped is a s..l.u..tt.y.wh.o.re.. and a homewracker. She knows her husband is a big cheat but still believes him based on the nude videos and photos he has taken of the single mum without her knowledge and constant.... His wife will never leave her husband becouse she loves him to an great extent and she is financially dependent on him...
This single mother is devastated and has tried ending her life several times, becouse even if he didnt wish to marry her or even if he used her the very fact that he has spred her nude images is like mudring this woman. Becouse she is decent and for her it was all about marriage. Now she is just alive for her children but the stigma he has brought to her is hard to live with. Please advice how to help her out?
I have seen how you have given advice trough youtube I request you to give advice there as I have been following your videos and you actually give very good and practical advices.
With best regards Nisha Sharma
I just wish to add one more thing you are very honest and wonderful most of all brave. You speak your mind,please always be like that and never let anyone let you down, as you are doing a great job by educationg pepole with the truth.
ReplyDeleteWish you all the best with best regards
Nisha Sharma
Thank you for being such an inspiration to me and others around you.
ReplyDelete