Sumaira McCloud

I hate being on my period every month. Not because of the cramps, not because of the bloating, not even because of all the obvious annoying things that come with. Every 28 or 30 days I get so incredibly sad. I can't help but think of where I am now, where I want to be, and where I was. I find every opportunities to make myself cry. Commercials, Movies. Talks. Thoughts. Songs. Memories. I don't even like crying. I just love the feeling after a good cry. I feel so cleansed and renewed and healthy and ready to go run five miles or whatever. What I don't love though is the feeling before the cry. The build up. The moments of fighting myself in my head. Crying loving Sumaira versus Crying hating Sumaira. Part of me wants to find a secret corner and let all the tears out to rush towards the finish and feel better, the other part, doesn't want to allow myself to cry and feel the feelings. If crying hating Sumaira wins, the feelings turn into anger. Which then

I had $367,900.00. Maaan. -ssr

I am so sick of crying. I hate feeling helpless and I hate being in pain.  When someone is crying and you ask, "hey what's wrong?" Normally, you expect an answer that gives something of an explanation as to why this person is crying. Humans are curious and want to know what causes things to happen.  When I cry and someone asks me what's wrong, I answer, "my lower back hurts again"  This may not sound like a reasonable explanation to someone who has never experienced lower back pain. Those words could easily to the unknowing person sound like "my stomach hurts" "my hand is cramping" things that are taken as common and fixable.  Well, allow me to give you some insight as to what the words "my lower back hurts again" really means, from my experience.  My back pain all started on Mother's Day 2013. I woke up excited to go fishing with my boyfriend and his family. I jumped out of bed, peed, and went to brush m

are such shit. Waste of time. Distractions from my own focus.  They love to do with you when it benefits them. Convenient timing. On their watch. Ooooooooooookay. Screw relying on anyone, for anything.  -ssr